Business Definitions
Blamestorming- Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible
Seagull Manager- A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything, and then leaves
Salmon Day- The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end
Irritainment- Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example
Chainsaw Consultant- An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands
Career Limiting Move (CLM)- Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM
Adminisphere- The rarefied organizational
layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve
Flight Risk- Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon
404- Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."
Generica- Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica that I forgotwhat city we were in."
Ohno-Second- That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake
Percussive Maintenance- The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again
Umfriend- A relationship of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my ... um...friend."
Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively
Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles
Idea Hamsters- People who always seem to have their idea generators running
Mouse Potato- The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato
Prairie Dogging- When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on
SITCOMs- What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single Income, Two Children, And Oppressive Mortgage"
Starter Marriage- A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets
Stress Puppy- A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny
Swiped Out- An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use
Alpha Geek- The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group
G.O.O.D. Job- A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again
Blamestorming- Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible
Seagull Manager- A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything, and then leaves
Salmon Day- The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end
Irritainment- Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example
Chainsaw Consultant- An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands
Career Limiting Move (CLM)- Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM
Adminisphere- The rarefied organizational
layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve
Flight Risk- Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon
404- Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."
Generica- Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica that I forgotwhat city we were in."
Ohno-Second- That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake
Percussive Maintenance- The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again
Umfriend- A relationship of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my ... um...friend."
Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively
Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles
Idea Hamsters- People who always seem to have their idea generators running
Mouse Potato- The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato
Prairie Dogging- When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on
SITCOMs- What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single Income, Two Children, And Oppressive Mortgage"
Starter Marriage- A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets
Stress Puppy- A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny
Swiped Out- An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use
Alpha Geek- The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group
G.O.O.D. Job- A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again
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